Joe is yelling at the trees again.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
