it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
