I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
