i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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