It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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