Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
