Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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