Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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