He asked to "fluff my boner.."
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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