She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
did you just send me my own nude
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
