i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize