just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
