Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
