Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
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I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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