Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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