It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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