I need help removing her.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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