Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
