? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
