You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
