I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
