Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I know her cup size but not her name....
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