Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
