used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
