nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
