I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
