these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
