Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
