He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
