you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
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