i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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