After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
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I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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