btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
