i would punch a child for taco bell
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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