On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
