am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
