hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
