So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
