I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
