Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
