wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
