Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
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Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.