barbara walters just said penis...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
