ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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