Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?

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  (513): I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious? http://tfl.nu/32zi
  Replies (9) Good night (893) Bad night (1410)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?

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  (412): Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline? http://tfl.nu/g8m6
  Replies (45) Good night (1640) Bad night (644)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.

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  (248): the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot. http://tfl.nu/4bij
  Replies (20) Good night (2492) Bad night (911)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.

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  (860): Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious. http://tfl.nu/hqob
  Replies (10) Good night (3782) Bad night (612)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.

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  (706): I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries. http://tfl.nu/bagw
  Replies (2) Good night (1693) Bad night (943)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  3pm strippers are depressing

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  (320): 3pm strippers are depressing http://tfl.nu/w12t
  Replies (19) Good night (960) Bad night (1941)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!

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  (403): And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH! http://tfl.nu/fcac
  Replies (4) Good night (2216) Bad night (564)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy

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  (815): My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy http://tfl.nu/f1hz
  Replies (10) Good night (1613) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.

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  (317): I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing. (1-317): As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you. http://tfl.nu/0owh
  Replies (5) Good night (1507) Bad night (534)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.

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  (907): Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens. http://tfl.nu/yi6v
  Replies (0) Good night (494) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying

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  (206): If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying http://tfl.nu/3uun
  Replies (1) Good night (392) Bad night (499)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?

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  (630): I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up? http://tfl.nu/45h3
  Replies (1) Good night (347) Bad night (739)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"

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  (817): I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here" http://tfl.nu/ku7n
  Replies (2) Good night (507) Bad night (470)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS

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  (360): I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS http://tfl.nu/synk
  Replies (0) Good night (278) Bad night (512)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his

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  (205): I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his http://tfl.nu/6ous
  Replies (2) Good night (205) Bad night (578)

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