I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city