She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
my shit smells like andre
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
