It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So squirting runs in the family.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
