He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
