her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
