Where are you?
In a non slutty way
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
