I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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