no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
