you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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