Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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