bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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