I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
