Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
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