real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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