if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
