he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
